Customer Service: HOW You Say WHAT You Say . . .

By David Lazear

Imagine the following customer service scenarios:

Scenario 1: You call customer service for information about a new product or service you’ve seen on the internet. The person answers the phone and right away you can tell this is someone who doesn’t like what they’re doing. You ask your question about the product or service and the customer service representative tells you it’s a very exciting product, but they drone on using what sounds like a scripted conversation.

Scenario 2: You call customer service needing technical support on a software product and the customer service rep sounds as if they are in a hurry to get you out of the way so they can move on to something else, probably more important than you and your petty concern.

Scenario 3: Customer service answers the phone with some “canned” personal greeting but the person sounds angry or stressed out. You have a complaint about a product you’ve purchased and the rep starts arguing with you, or communicates their impatience with you.

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In each of these situations, it was the sound and quality of the other persons voice which created the negative feelings. Often HOW we say what we say communicates more than the actual meaning of the words we use. Can you think of times you were talking with a friend or colleague about a controversial topic and they assured you in an emphatic way, “NO! I am NOT upset by what you just said!!!”

In customer service, especially when your main contact with customers is in on the phone, the tone, pitch, timbre, and rhythm of your speaking will shape and determine the customer experience with your business. There are many aspect to building solid customer relationships. How your voice impacts others is a subtle, but very important part of your relationship building with your customers.

Following are two exercises which focus on the sound and rhythm of your speech. The first exercise deals with the sound of your voice when you speak to another person. The second deals with the rhythm and beat of your speech. Both are subtle, but vitally important to setting the right emotional tone when you’re dealing with customers.

Exercise 1: The Tonal Qualities of Communication

This exercise helps you learn to “tune in” to the sound of your own and others speech. As you learn to listen to the quality of your voice when you are speaking with another person, you can check yourself to make sure that what you are saying and how you are saying it match.

There are patterns of sound that are part of everyday communication which provide an opportunity to experiment with enhancing your communicative capacities. You can use this auditory realm to deepen your communication with others in the course of everyday relating. This exercise will help you practice getting your message and voice in synch with each other.

1. Spend a couple of evenings watching a variety of TV shows and analyze the tonal qualities of the dialogue. Use the chart below and see how many of the vocal tonal patterns listed you can recognize.

sarcasm	impatience	affection
irritation	empathy	happiness
sympathy	sadness	boredom
contentment	sincerity	surprise
determination	frustration	excitement

2. Over the course of several days, listen carefully to the tones of peoples' communication with one another. See if you can hear the same qualities that you did when you were analyzing the TV shows. When you recognize the tonal pattern, check the box of the appropriate mood or emotion in the chart above.

[Remember: You’re not listening for the content of the message. You’re listening for the vocal tonal patterns which express the mood or emotion.]

3. Finally spend time listening carefully to the tones of your own communication with others, both on-the-job and at home. See if you can detect some of the same vocal tonal pattern that you noticed when you were analyzing the TV shows and other people’s speech. When you recognize the vocal tonal pattern in yourself, again check the appropriate box in the chart.

4. Reflection:

• What really stands out from my experience of this exercise?
• What do I find most interesting? Most surprising? Most entertaining? Most disturbing?
• What have I learned about the role of tonal patterns in the art of communication?

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Exercise 2: The Beat, Rhythm, and Vibration of Communication

When I was working on my master’s degree, there were a couple of professors which almost drove me mad. One professor spoke in such a slow, relaxed, and meandering fashion that it was almost sleep-inducing. He had good stuff to say; it just took him forever to say it.

The other professor was a young, fresh out of school woman who was so excited about what she was teaching she could hardly contain herself. She talked so fast and in such a staccato manner, that I was a wreck at the end of her classes. The rhythm and vibration of her teaching literally raised my stress level.

This exercise mirrors the previous one; however, this time you’ll work with the rhythm, beat, vibration, and all the other sounds of communication.

1. Once again, spend a couple of evenings watching a variety of TV shows. This time listen to and analyze the rhythmic and vibrational patterns of the dialogue and the accompanying sound effects. As much as possible ignore the pitch and tone of people’s voices. Use the chart below and see how many of the rhythmic and vibrational patterns listed you can recognize.

tension	anxiety	well-being
urgency	nonchalance	frivolity
excitement	fear	boredom
anger	hostility	terror
determination	frustration	excitement

2. Over the course of several days, listen carefully to the rhythmic and vibrational aspects of peoples' communication with one another. See if you can hear the same patterns that you observed in the various TV shows. When you recognize the vocal rhythmic pattern, check the box of the appropriate mood or emotion in the chart above.

[Remember: Again you’re not listening for the content of the message. You’re listening for the vocal rhythmic patterns or the beat of their speaking which express the mood or emotion.]

3. Over the course of several days, listen carefully to the rhythmic and vibrational aspects of your own communication with others. See if you can detect the same patterns as you did in the TV shows. When you can recognize the rhythmic pattern, check the box of the appropriate mood or emotion.

4. Reflection:

• What really stands out in my experience of this exercise?
  What do I find most interesting? Most surprising? Most entertaining? Most disturbing?
  What have I learned about the role rhythmic and vibrational patterns play in the art of communication?

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About the author:

David Lazear is a mentor and coach for mentors, coaches, and trainers. He is an associate of Mike Klingler and Ann Sieg at the Renegade University and Renegade Professional.

David has written some 15 books and created numerous resources for home business entrepreneurs, coaches, and trainers. His expertise is training others in how to assess and address other’s “learning profile” using the research on “multiple intelligences” (a.k.a. The 8 Kinds of Smart).

David Lazear teaches how to turbo-charge any mentoring, coaching, and training you provide so you Reach Everyone, Everytime – Guaranteed!